Love? at First Sight

A few years ago, who am I kidding, lots of years ago (do not ask how many!), I was working as close to downtown as I ever want to work, and came into contact with the most alluring man that I believe has ever existed.
I was in the break-room and in strolled the most beautiful, tall, dark man I have ever seen.  His eyes were sparkling pools of black and his hands were huge.  He reached out his hand and introduced himself, and one touch and my knees melted.  My head started buzzing and his eyes twinkled even more!  He knew what his very presence was doing to me.  Wow, explosive, transmutation!  I'm quite sure he could have taken me with him that day and I would not have looked back for at least 48 hours!
 
I'm not sure what his name was, because by time he said it, my head was already spinning!  So, we're just going to call him Calgon.  (Why?  Because he could take me away!) I know!  Shocking!

I have never felt that way before or since.  My husband could make my tummy flutter and put stars in my eyes, but he was just human.  Calgon is something more.  (He's my memory and I can make him what ever I want!)

I am your basic "good girl" and have tried my best to never do anything that I might regret the next day.  I mean, my sins usually run in the gossiping and judgmental realm, you know “sneaky” sins.  Sins people see and don't always count as sins.  But adultery, physical or just mental, is really not in me!  But faced with someone who practically emitting waves of heat, how strong is one good girl supposed to be?

There are many reasons not to have an affair, such as eternal damnation, HIV, etc...  But I am weak.  Not that I'm looking for an affair, but a nice "hottie" to smooch on at my front door could do me a lot of good!

But going along the hottie on the porch thought, how many 40 to 60 - something something guys are willing to stop at the porch?  And, not that I'm looking for a new life partner, would a good Christian guy be on that porch?  Could he be a good Christian and melt my knees with a single glance?

But, if God in his infinite wisdom sent me my true soul mate, would it be too much to ask that he be beautiful, tall and dark, with the ability to melt my knees with a single glance?  Meanwhile, I’ll have my eyes open for a potential knees-melter.  Let me know if you find him!

My Old Suitcase

I packed up my troubles in an old suitcase and gave them to my Lord.

He used His good timing to work on the contents, bearing the weight – keeping me safe.

Then in moments of doubt, I take back my old suitcase – checking on the contents, worrying, struggling, staggering under the weight.

All the while my Lord is waiting patiently with his hand held out waiting for me to give Him my trust again.

Then when clarity and faith slowly return, I repack my old suitcase and put it back in my Lord’s strong waiting hands.

Praying not to repeat the process, scared the weakness in me has doomed me to repeat.

How long will His loving hands be there to carry my suitcase – protecting me from the hurt and worries inside?

He promises until the end of time.

He is the Great One, the Patient One – all I have to do is trust.

Meanwhile, my old suitcase makes its all too human, flawed rounds.

Who’s carrying your suitcase?

Lieing About Your Age

As a lot of women I know, I started telling tells about my age on my fortieth birthday.  My particular choice was to start counting backwards, but by using this formula, I'll be thirty this upcoming year.  I'm fairly sure most people will realize that I'm not thirty, or even thirty something.  So, what should I do now?

I'm proposing that we as glorious, experienced women should approach our age a little differently.  I submit that we add 10 years to our ages.  For example, I'm a decent looking 49, BUT I look fantastic for a 60 year old!

There is only so far up you can go without someone considering that you might be either lying or some kind of futuristic cyber clone from the future.  At least I hope that no one would believe that I'm 80.  And if you would, then you my dear reader are no longer my friend!

Claiming you're older than you are will sound familiar to a lot of us, because we spent the last years of our teens claiming to be older.  So, what harm would it do?  You'd get to go to all those cool senior parties at church.  (You know you so want to go!)  You get to order off the senior menu at restaurants.  (Have you ever looked at the senior menu, the prices are great and the portions are right where your waist line needs them!)  You get to die your hair all kinds of truly funky colors, red, blue, pink, purple or black.  (No one ever questions an older woman's hair color.  They just concede that she's old enough to decide on her own hair, after all how much longer will she have it?)  People will believe you have some kind of super anti-aging program, so they'll always be asking you for advice.  (And you can look them in the eye and say, "why nothing, it must just be my genes"!)  And everyone will EXPECT you to have candy in your purse.  (You'll need it to pass along to the kidos, if there's any left!)

The only time I really wanted to tell the truth about my age was when I was between ages 21 and 29.  Before the age of 21, we all want to be "of age".  And then after 29, we all want to be in our twenties.

But how young can you be with a 26-year-old child?  You could lie about his age also, but who's going to believe a man with a goatee is 16?  And why isn't he in school?  No, children's ages can only be adjusted so much.  We could lie and say we don't have any children, but then you don't get any grandchildren.  And believe me they are MUCH more fun than children.  So, you have to keep the children in order to keep the grandchildren.

So, the best choice for me is to round up my age.  The next time you see me, you might comment on how lovely I look for a sixty year old.

Are Romance Novels Good for Us?

I put this question to you, because I have found myself engulfed in the books of a certain novelist.  They are very exciting, don't use bad language, but her love scenes speak to me.  As a single practicing Christian, should I indulge?  What would the consequences be - good and bad?

 When I look around for that tall dark Texas Ranger to come growl at me and then rescue me, he seems to be out on assignment elsewhere.  So what could a little fantasy hurt?  

Okay, what are these Rangers looking for in a woman?  She needs to be small, have long legs, long blond hair, flat stomach, small to medium sized breasts, very intelligent and fight like a tiger.  If she has had any experience with men it was bad, but she must be able to orgasism the first time or in under five minutes.  She isn't overly pretty, but has a body that will stop traffic.  She thinks that she is plain and that no one would or could ever love her.  She also has to be pliable to his moods, because all these long tall Texas Rangers must be terribly moody.  Oh, and she is NEVER older than 28. 

Okay, what do I know about the Ranger of my dreams?  He is either, extremely rich or very poor on the verge of wealth.  He is in his mid to late thirties, maybe even early forties.  He works all the time, but his body looks like he spends his days in the gym.  He has a broad chest full of dark curly hair.  He must be an exceptional lover, like to kiss, hold hands and snuggle.  He is jealous, emotionally fragile, and only kills people who don't leave him any other option.

My first love was very much right out of a novel, especially at first.  I had lost my virginity to an attacker and really did need emotional rescuing.  He came along (tall dark and very good looking) and made me feel pure and new.  He made me feel like he was the first and only partner.  And for that I will be eternally grateful.  Besides we really did make the sparks fly! 

A man did come to my rescue.  So, maybe it's not the romance novels that are making me look for that Ranger.  Maybe it's my own history.

But my twenties being a "few" years behind me, what then?  Could a ranger fall for someone closer to his real age?   I mean the longer your body is subjected to gravity, the more body parts begin to shift.  And when I'm looking for my Ranger, will I pass over the next love of my life?  I mean, really, there are only about 150 Rangers and, if I'm wanting him to look over some "minor" flaws, shouldn't I be willing to accept his also?

So, romance novels, good or bad?  I think they are like most things in life, it's how you use them.  If a book can give you some entertainment, without you expecting fiction to become reality, you're probably safe.  Who knows, I might actually find my Ranger, he might be balding with some extra poundage, but he'd be mine!